Now, as a brain doctor – I knew the facts. I knew his diagnosis was a result of an extra chromosome. I knew his condition was a result of a genetic variation. And I knew I couldn’t have prevented this from happening.
So, why did I feel like I did something wrong?
I felt a tremendous amount of guilt. I remembered everything I didn’t do while I was pregnant with him.
I didn’t eat as healthy as I should have and that really bothered me. As a neurologist, I know that a healthy brain is at the core of a healthy body. And for a stronger brain, you need a solid foundation of nutrients to feed it.
But, life was hectic – my daughter was a toddler at the time. Keeping up with the demands of work and home life was hard.
I remembered how I couldn’t find the right prenatal formula to support my pregnancy. And although I searched high and low – and tried many different brands – I couldn’t find a formula that contained the high-quality nutrients – at the right dosages – for healthy fetal development.
Not to mention all the times I skipped taking my prenatal vitamins because they made me sick to my stomach! Trying to choke down 6 horse pills a day made me nauseous. I just couldn’t do it.
Did all of this affect my son?
I sure felt like it did.
These are some of the things I fixated on while coming to terms with the fact that I now had a brain-injured child. But I didn’t allow my feelings to consume me for too long. Because one thing was for sure – from the minute I laid eyes on him, I was absolutely head over heels for my little boy.
And I knew that no matter what, I was going to do my best to give Ajax everything that I could to help him reach his full potential and enjoy a happy, healthy life – for his entire life.